At 31, I am most likely fortunate in that I’ve solely been invited to 2 weddings. Not as a result of I don’t assume weddings are enjoyable (they’re!), however as a result of attending a bridal occasion is extremely costly.
By the point the precise wedding ceremony got here round, I had thrown a marathon of celebrations—engagement occasion, bridal bathe, bachelorette occasion—lots of which required presents. On their wedding ceremony day, I felt like I would already spent a fortune celebrating my buddies, so did the joyful couple actually need me to purchase them an air fryer?
In accordance with 2024 information from The Knot, the typical bridesmaid spends greater than $1,600 on a marriage, not together with presents. Then, it is best to spend one other $100. To me, it felt like theft.
To see if I used to be fully unreasonable, I talked to etiquette and monetary specialists. Here is what they needed to say.
Tori Dunlap, founding father of Her First 100k
“Hanging a steadiness between what you’ll be able to afford and what’s usually anticipated of a marriage occasion attending is vital.
When you already spend some huge cash on these occasions, it is positively okay to spend much less on wedding ceremony presents. In actual fact, many {couples} perceive the monetary burden that comes with attending a marriage and do not anticipate lavish presents on prime of every thing else.
My recommendation is to speak overtly and actually with the couple. Allow them to know you are excited to be part of their special occasion and clarify your state of affairs actually. Usually, a easy dialog is sufficient. A heartfelt observe, a small however significant reward, and even simply your presence are equally helpful.
Allison Cullman, Vice President of Model Technique at Zola
“It’s customary for members of the marriage occasion to present presents, however they don’t essentially need to be of nice financial worth. It’s a gesture of affection.
Take into account what choices can be found to you. Possibly the couple has a money registry and you may donate a small quantity. You’ll be able to select one thing small from their wedding ceremony registry, or you’ll be able to create a customized token of affection.
There are issues you are able to do for the couple earlier than or on the marriage day, equivalent to gathering all your pals to take pictures. Considered one of my bridesmaids did this for me and I’m so grateful.
Something that reveals you are there for somebody means greater than a verify.
Something that reveals you are there for somebody means greater than a verify.
Alison Kalman
Vice President of Model Technique at Zola
Jen Glanz, founding father of Bridesmaids for Rent
“When you have got a bridal occasion, earlier than the primary day of role-playing, it is best to set a price range and persist with it. This could embody all pre-wedding actions, and this price range shouldn’t be one thing another person tells you.
Nobody requires you to convey a present. I feel you’re feeling pressured to take action, however not anticipated to take action.
With regards to why we give presents, one cause is that we need to have fun these individuals getting into a brand new stage of their lives.
You’ll be able to write them a handwritten observe. The aim of attending a marriage and giving presents is to have fun.
Hannah Nowack, senior editor at The Knot
“Members of the marriage occasion typically give presents to the couple. Nonetheless, you finally have to resolve what reward to present primarily based on what works on your price range and the way shut you’re to the couple.
Since you may be investing plenty of money and time in your pre-wedding festivities, use your greatest judgment in terms of reward giving.
A good suggestion is to present group presents with different bridesmaids. Whether or not you are on a good price range or not, this can be a nice choice. Possibly there is a huge reward, like an espresso machine or a honeymoon couple’s therapeutic massage, that you simply need to give to the couple, however know that doing it alone will exceed your price range.
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